Sickness.

I got sick. Again.

I was sick last month and it was awful and I usually only get sick once a year or so…. so this is very rare for me. Someone suggested it might have been brought on by stress, and I can agree with that. I spent ALL DAY yesterday writing until my head hurt, and my headache didn’t go away.

So I had to go to a conference today. I was supposed to be honing my teaching skills. I have it tomorrow, too. Ugh.

I was excited for this thing, but being sick and trying to keep from passing out is difficult during 70 minute lectures. And during one discussion, we were supposed to talk with JTEs (Japanese Teachers of English) to try to ask them what they thought our roles as ALTs were in the schools and how we can overcome problems. Sounds good right?

No. I had to listen to a lot of JTEs and another ALT talk about how they always ask their fellow teachers for help, and some JTEs take their ALTs out drinking every week, and others made sure their ALT was involved but not overwhelmed.

Well. I am usually either not involved or overwhelmed depending on my classes. I started tearing up listening to it. I have zero drinking stories with my teachers, and most of them either throw me to the wolves and leave the room or never let me give input, or when I do give input, the blatantly refuse it.

So then I went home, it was cold, I was miserable, tired, and sick and I just got in bed and cried. I felt so homesick. My other teachers complain about “Oh, my parents never cook the food I want to eat when I go visit them,” while I’m sitting here, haven’t seen my family or friends in four months and probably won’t for another year or so. And now I’m sick and no one is here to take care of me. I just felt so awful.

But I dragged myself out of bed and ate dinner and drank a ton of water and watched some youtube and laughed a little. I talked to friends and my two teachers called me to arrange a pick up for me at the train station so I don’t have to walk 30 minutes up a mountain in the cold at 9am like I did today.

My teachers are so nice and worried about me, so I felt a bit better. I do have a decent support group here. But as an extrovert, I need human interaction. I have to see and talk to people. I can’t sit in my room sick all day and feel better eventually.

I didn’t write today, but that only puts me 1000 words behind the goal for today because I wrote extra yesterday. I’m not worried about that goal (unless my cold keeps me from writing again tomorrow…) and I didn’t feel like writing on an important scene in my story whilst being miserable.

I hope everyone out there had a much better day than I did. Night.