Confidence!

It’s been a while since my last post. Here’s the reason why:

I went to the hospital from being stressed and it was not fun. I knew I needed a change in my life. I was mad at everyone, especially myself. I got jealous and when I talked to friends it was usually to complain or gripe and I wasn’t a fun person to be around. I got into fights with people I care about and in general I was in a bad mood. Living abroad is stressful, teaching is stressful, trying to apply to grad school is stressful, etc.

But I found Jessica Harlow on Youtube and watched a video of hers about motivating and instilling confidence in yourself. One of her suggestions is to make a “Love letter to yourself” journal where you put in quotes, goals, inspirational figures, notes of gratitude, and so on. And you are supposed to write every day for a month about things you learn, things you like about yourself in the third person so that it motivates you to see the good in yourself.

Her suggestion was so brilliant that I decided to make my own.

Just having the notebook to come home to every day makes me want to see more of the good in my day/life than I normally would. Instead of thinking about what went wrong and why I am a bad teacher, etc., I want to think about things that I can write down. Things that I learned, things I like about myself and my life.

Since finding her on Sunday night, I have seen a dramatic change. I feel more Zen, more confident, in a better mood, more quick to forgive and more patient. I let things go that I normally would have let ruin my day. I push through hard times instead of admitting defeat. I have also started doing dance workouts at night before bed and before I leave in the morning. Dancing and listening to Kpop music really boost my morale, and I especially need to feel good right before bed so I don’t get insomnia and right before I go to work. I am not a morning person and people at school usually ask me what’s wrong when I get to work because I am usually angry at the world that I had to get up so early in the morning.

This week we danced to the Macarena and the chicken dance in class and even my horrible students who usually ruin my lesson plan for the day were good after I let them laugh at me while I did silly dances.

I also recently started reading all the posts on Humans of New York, which I could sit there and do for hours. They are so amazing.

I am working as a TEDxFukuoka staff member this weekend, so I know I will feel productive and exhausted by Sunday. This week has already brought out such a sense of peace in me that I hope I can keep it up.

I read Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl and I started reading Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore today during lunch. I am on track to finishing 50 books this year, which is one of my goals. 

I also got accepted to Troy University’s Master of Science in Adult Education program and I am excited to start online classes in May. I am such a nerd that I looked up what textbooks we will be reading from and added them to my Kindle book wishlist. My Kindle is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, by the way. My kids today at lunch came by and saw me using it and I got to instill a little “READING IS FUN” in their brains.

Let me know if there are certain ways you relax/boost your mood, or if you’ve been feeling down recently like me. I think the incessantly cold weather is making everyone sort of grumpy. Bring on spring!

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