Expectations, Changes, and the Road Ahead

Confession: I struggle with insomnia. I consider myself a night owl, so when I get in bed and I’m not completely exhausted, my thoughts usually swirl in my head until the wee hours, making it impossible to sleep. Recently I had stomach pain that made it hard for me to fall asleep, and the next day I had a headache, so I went two nights without getting much rest.

I am naturally a worrier, but even when I’m just excited for things, I get too caught up in my thoughts and what might be that I can’t fall asleep. I also have vivid and sometimes strange dreams when I do fall asleep, so overall I have a complicated relationship with my bed. I toss and turn a lot before I fall asleep, and I have to be in complete darkness in a cool environment. Summer is coming and that means way less sleep for me, which isn’t good considering how busy I am.

What helps me, though, is writing it down. My brain powers up at night, so if I never write down my feelings, I feel as if I will forget something important and therefore I stay awake longer. I don’t deal with stress well, and I have bad muscle tension, which I get treated at the chiropractor or the hot springs. I’m starting to relax more as I get older because nothing ever turns out as bad as it does during those late bouts of insomnia.

My fiancé and I are getting prepared for my move to Korea, and I’m in the process of looking for a job. I still have to get documents ready for my visa, and I need to do some wedding planning when I go to America in July. I am also studying for the JLPT which is in a few weeks, and I am also studying Korean as much as I can. To top it all off, I have a full time job as a teacher, which is always crazy and unpredictable, and I am a Master’s student. Looking at it this way, it’s no wonder I have a hard time sleeping.

Thankfully, no major problems have come up in regards to any of that, and I am excited about wedding plans, doing interior design (adding lots more bookshelves in my life!) and moving to a new and exciting place that I fall in love with every time I go back. I think it’s easier for me to imagine what it will be like going back to America for a few weeks since I’ve already done it before, but reverse culture shock always hits me pretty hard. I can also imagine how I will need to be patient with myself as I adapt to South Korea and becoming part of a new family because I’ve lived with a family in Japan before.

However, no matter how much I prepare in my mind, I know things are going to surprise me. The best way to prepare myself is to remind myself of all the things I’m looking forward to and all the things I want myself to remember. This way, I can look back on my own words when I’m going through those stages of adaptation and growth. As the saying goes, no pain, no gain!

Change is inevitable and it’s usually for the best. We grow the most when we face unfamiliar situations, and I know no matter what, I will have people who support me. I am feeling much better after talking with friends and writing down my feelings, so I encourage you to do the same, though I hope you don’t have insomnia as badly as I do. I have a lot of great things to look forward to in the coming months, and by Christmas things should settle down. This year has already gone by so quickly…

Tonight I look forward to reading a good book, settling into bed, ignoring the crazy thoughts, and just letting sleep come.

14 thoughts to “Expectations, Changes, and the Road Ahead”

  1. I enjoyed reading about your life. I hope things go well for you in Korea. One day I hope to move to the countryside in Japan, though I do need to visit for quite a while before guarantee myself it’s a move i’m comfortable with since it’s out of the continent.

    1. Thank you! I’m sure everything will work out. The countryside in Japan is beautiful and there is more of a sense of community there than in big cities, for sure, but you are right that you need to visit first haha. Good luck to you as well!

      1. Thank you 🙂 I was raised in the countryside here in the states and although I live in a city now I still prefer the country more.

  2. I enjoyed reading about your life. I hope things go well for you in Korea. One day I hope to move to the countryside in Japan, though I do need to visit for quite a while before guarantee myself it’s a move i’m comfortable with since it’s out of the continent.

    1. Thank you! I’m sure everything will work out. The countryside in Japan is beautiful and there is more of a sense of community there than in big cities, for sure, but you are right that you need to visit first haha. Good luck to you as well!

      1. Thank you 🙂 I was raised in the countryside here in the states and although I live in a city now I still prefer the country more.

  3. I totally understand about being a worrier – I have always been one too, and have a complicated relationship with sleep. It does sound exciting though! And depending on when you guys are getting married, if you can get an F6 visa before you’re looking to get a job, you’ll have a way better paid and more flexible choice of jobs! Where are you going to be living? 🙂

    1. Ah I’m getting an E2 visa for the time being. We will live in his hometown in Daejeon. It’s the perfect size and location and his family is close. I think I will always have sleep trouble haha I am really sensitive so everything keeps me up.

      1. Ah, well you can always change to an F6 later then! Or if you don’t like your job, quit and get an easier/better paid/less hours one on an F6 xD
        Oh cool. I’ve never been to Daejeon but it seems like a good big-but-not-massive city, plus the central location would be nice (not that I don’t love Busan haha).
        Same :/ But it sounds like you’re still productive, that’s something I’ve got to work on :p

  4. I totally understand about being a worrier – I have always been one too, and have a complicated relationship with sleep. It does sound exciting though! And depending on when you guys are getting married, if you can get an F6 visa before you’re looking to get a job, you’ll have a way better paid and more flexible choice of jobs! Where are you going to be living? 🙂

    1. Ah I’m getting an E2 visa for the time being. We will live in his hometown in Daejeon. It’s the perfect size and location and his family is close. I think I will always have sleep trouble haha I am really sensitive so everything keeps me up.

      1. Ah, well you can always change to an F6 later then! Or if you don’t like your job, quit and get an easier/better paid/less hours one on an F6 xD
        Oh cool. I’ve never been to Daejeon but it seems like a good big-but-not-massive city, plus the central location would be nice (not that I don’t love Busan haha).
        Same :/ But it sounds like you’re still productive, that’s something I’ve got to work on :p

  5. It sounds like many new and exciting changes are happening to you soon!! That’s awesome!

    I know how moving and wedding plans can be rather exciting. I remember lying awake many nights planning things in my head. However, everyone functions better with a good night’s sleep, so remember to put your thoughts on hold and get a good night’s sleep!

  6. It sounds like many new and exciting changes are happening to you soon!! That’s awesome!

    I know how moving and wedding plans can be rather exciting. I remember lying awake many nights planning things in my head. However, everyone functions better with a good night’s sleep, so remember to put your thoughts on hold and get a good night’s sleep!

Comments are closed.