I found this book a little while back, and I knew it would be something I’d like to read, but I was blown away by how helpful it actually was.
From the country’s foremost expert on “cold feet,” a smart and compassionate guide for the bride-to-be who thinks she should be blissfully happy—but is freaking out instead For most brides, the elation of engagement is accompanied by a cocktail of unexpected emotions: Anxiety about making a lifelong commitment. Sadness about leaving their single life behind. Confusion when even simple decisions—should we serve chicken cordon bleu or beef Wellington?—bring them to tears. Worst of all, since everyone around them expects them to be happy, few brides feel there’s anyone to turn to with these conflicting feelings.
Written by one of Modern Bride’s “25 Trendsetters of 2006”—and targeting the 2.5 million women who get engaged each year—Emotionally Engaged is the only book geared toward helping brides survive their engagements and emerge as stronger, happier, better- adjusted married women. In the book, Allison Moir-Smith shares her threestage, tried-and-true process from her workshops and individual therapy sessions, along with the stories of over a dozen brides-to-be and newlyweds, helping readers transform their bridal blues into bridal bliss.
The author went through a difficult time during her engagement, family issues, internal struggles, and she took that experience and decided to help other brides-to-be. She relates her experiences, as well as the stories of those who called on her for help, in order to shed light on how being engaged really feels.
When I first got engaged, I felt disconnected with my single friends and some of my family members, who didn’t quite understand what I was going through. I also had the added pain of being away from my fiancé and my family and most of my friends while in transition from one country to another. The stories of these brides and how normal it is to feel isolated or tense or confused provided me with a lot of comfort that I am not alone.
I think we see movies or glimpses of weddings and engagements in the media and think everything should be blissful once we have that ring on our finger, but in actuality, there are a lot of bumps on the road to marriage. Moving, finding a new job, becoming a wife and losing part of your identity as a daughter… all these things are stressful and make us uneasy. However, we are gaining new family members, a new lifestyle, and learning about ourselves more and more each day.
Being back in my hometown and spending time with my family, as well as planning a wedding alone (since my fiancé is neither here nor does he understand American wedding culture) have all been somewhat overwhelming for me. However, I’ve come to realize all the intricate details becoming a married woman entails, and this book encouraged me to seek the positive but know that I’m not alone.
I’m excited to learn more by checking out the author’s website and blogs. She does free consultations for brides over the phone, but this book is a great place to start for anyone facing stress over their wedding and their upcoming nuptials. I’d definitely recommend this book to any woman during her engagement, but there is also advice for after the wedding and the first few years of married life.