I can’t stop smiling.
So much has been happening lately that it was overwhelming to think of applying for grad school, working full time at a new job I am still bad at, living in a new place all alone, etc. But this holiday/break is shaping up to be a wonderful reminder of how lucky I am.
I got three packages lately, all from the people I most adore, and their letters and gifts make me gush with happiness. I sent Christmas cards and New Year’s cards (the tradition in Japan) to a lot of my friends and family and I feel so grown up. Being an adult is strange. Children think of adults as people who know everything. Teenagers think of them as people who know nothing. And once you get a job and start living on your own, adults, especially your own parents, start looking a lot more human and full of faults, but I think we also start to respect them more as well. I am lucky to have so many people supporting me across oceans.
Today is my last day of school until the second week of January. It snowed a tiny bit on the way to work this morning. I am from the South, so I rarely see snow. When I do, I always freak out. Snow is one of my favorite things in the world, along with starry nights and a cozy day in with a book as the rain comes down outside. When it snows, all my thoughts of the cold drift away and all I notice are the beautiful flakes coming down from the sky. I have a lot of plans for the break, including a concert tonight, a few Christmas parties, another concert, and a trip to Hong Kong for New Year’s!
I am going to be so rejuvinated after this break, and hopefully it will help me work harder at school. I am so excited about my life here, which is good because a few weeks ago I was ready to leave immediately. Just goes to show that feelings are fleeting and unreliable. I was pragmatic and thought over my decision with reason instead of feelings, which was hard but necessary. I know staying is a good decision and I am proud of myself for sticking it out.
I have tons of books to read in 2014 so I better get on it.
I also have to edit, revise, and get critiques on my novel before looking for an agent for publication. I am so passionate about my career and my book and my friends, so I know I must be on the right path. Life is like a long, dark stretch of roads and tunnels. There are times when all you can see is darkness and you are sure that if you don’t turn back, you will never see the light. But eventually, if you keep trudging on, you will come to an opening and the sun will warm your cheeks and your heart will soar, forgetting all it’s troubles until the next tunnel is on the horizon.
I hope everyone has a great holiday season. Take lots of hot cocoa breaks and watch guilty pleasure movies. I watched The Santa Clause last night because I just really needed some real Christmas. All Japanese people do is go on dates and eat cake. Ha!